Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Barb Wire - Starring Pamela Anderson, Udo Kier

Lousy retelling of the Casablanca story which renders the Bogey classic nothing more than a teenage wank favourite.

Pamela Anderson stars as Barb Wire, a conspicuous boot legger (in the literal and metaphorical sense of the words) who spends half the film walking around in front of her brother wearing hardcore bondage gear (he's blind so it's okay).

Barb doesn't have Humphry Bogart's dialogue to help the remake. She does have the crap catchphrase "Don't call me babe." Which must rank up with much forgotten Channel 5 talk show host Jack Doherty's much forgotten "Applaud my guests," as a catchphrase that went down like a bowl of cold french onion soup someone had spat in.

Yes this film is dreadful. Don't watch it unless you are horny and single, and even then you'll skip most scenes and put the others on slow play.