I Am Legend - Starring Will Smith

Will Smith stars in this surreal drama about a man so boring everyone else has deserted the city he lives in. His only company is his dog who he keeps on a tight leash to ensure it doesn't desert him too.

He spends a large portion of the film pondering over why no one likes him. He asks his dog several times and it tries to swallow it's own tongue.

He takes the dog for long walks through the deserted city where he spray paints I AM LEGEND on the wall of a derelict building in the hope of attracting some friends.

He knows something is wrong with it but he's not sure what. His dog knows that he meant to write I AM A LEGEND and pisses on the wall.

Will Smith thinks the dog is mocking him and shoots it in the head.

The film ends with Will Smith walking through the city repeating the phrase "I am legend?" to himself, still not sure what is wrong with it.

In the last scene he stares at the camera for a long time before saying "I fuck sheep."

The film ends.

The subtext of the film seems to view boredom as a disease which affects chronically dumb people. The only way to alleviate it is by committing acts of violence against defenceless people or animals. This however only leads to strange and unsettling behaviour.

A triumph of sorts for Smith who was trying to shake off his Fresh Prince persona, not quite sure he has managed it.

Sleepless In Seattle - Starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan

Tom Hanks used this edgy psychological thriller to try to break out of his dreary rom-com image.

Tom stars as Hanks, a lonely insomniac who attempts to break out of his desperate life by kidnapping a dying woman's only son. He plans to become the boy's father and feel important.

Hanks' plan to become a somebody is shattered by the harsh reality of a frightened boy who does nothing but cower in the corner and cry for his dead mother.

Since the only word the boy says is "mummy" Hanks sets about finding one for him.

The only other person in Hanks' life is DJ Funky Ass Babe (Meg Ryan) a New York radio DJ whose show Hanks listens to avidly.

Hanks travels to New York in the hope of bringing DJ Funky Ass Babe back to Seattle with him. He stalks her and eventually chases her up the Empire State Building where she kung-fu kicks him off the top.

Hanks plummets to his death. The fate of the boy remains unknown. There has been talk of a sequel called Son of Hanks (starring Tom's real life son Colin Hanks) but plans were shelved due to the poor sales for the DVD  of Sleepless in Seattle.

Macho Cowboy Rating: 1/5 stars.

Capote! - Starring Philip Seymour Hoffman, Catherine Keener, Clifton Collins Jr.

When four innocent people are murdered. The country cops find the case too hard to crack. Tough talking city cop Capote is called in to bust some skulls and bring the bad guys in.

Capote finds out the bad guys are already in jail and gets himself convicted of a fake crime so he can serve the bad guys with "Capote Justice" (thump their skulls).

Capote gets in a tussle with the bad dudes but they gang up on him and throw him from a roof where he breaks his own legs.

The bad dudes get killed anyway because they have life sentences and Capote makes a million bucks because he writes a book about it called IN COLD BLOOD.

Altogether a bit far fetched but Philip Seymour Hoffman is great as the "take no shit" detective. A career best.

Macho Cowboy Rating: 3/5 stars.